It hit me with a resounding thud, like a door slamming in my face: cold, hard rejection. The email was addressed to me wasn\u2019t personal. It was an automated message: \u201cThank you for applying for X. We enjoyed meeting you but have decided to pursue another candidate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/em>In other words, we don\u2019t want you<\/em>. We want someone else. Someone better, probably younger. Someone other than you.<\/p>\n I was surprised by the email because I thought the interview had gone well. I\u2019d had two interviews, one phone and one onsite. Halfway through the second interview, the hiring manager brought in her supervisor\u2014the VP of Finance. We had a nice exchange. The VP asked me if I\u2019d be willing to fill in for the HR Manager when she was on vacation. She also encouraged me to follow up with her after the interview.<\/p>\n As I left, there was a lightness in my step from hope I hadn\u2019t felt in years.<\/p>\n Five years ago, I resigned my full-time HR Director position to care for my father. This unpaid job has been all-consuming and I haven\u2019t really considered working outside the home until the past year or so. Since then, I\u2019ve applied to dozens of jobs with virtually no results, not even a phone screen. So when I was selected for an in-person interview last week, I was excited.<\/p>\n I interviewed on Wednesday and the hiring manager said she expected to make a decision by Friday. I was grateful for the quick turnaround. Although I didn\u2019t want to assume anything, I felt so good about how things went that I was shocked when I was the email. Shocked and deflated.<\/p>\n I understand the problem: I\u2019m over 50 and haven\u2019t worked in five years, making me an undesirable candidate. I\u2019ve tried to mitigate this with strong cover letters speaking to my experience, qualifications and the reasons I\u2019ve been out of work. I\u2019ve emphasized my desire to make a contribution and that I don\u2019t expect to return to my previous level or salary.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s a moot point made by someone who doesn\u2019t matter. My qualifications, experience, education, work ethic. It\u2019s all for naught. The only important thing is my relevance in the workforce today, and I am clearly irrelevant. I have too many years on me and too much time in the shadows.<\/p>\n It is difficult to estimate how many jobs I\u2019ve applied to over the past year. Perhaps 50? These were not random applications but positions that matched my qualifications. Regardless, the response has been bleak, just two phone interviews and one onsite interview. The latter was my interview last week that ended this way: Do Not Reply to this email. This is an automatically generated email.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em>None of my efforts has made a difference. No doors opened. Most of the time, not even an acknowledgment of my application.<\/p>\n I\u2019m like one of those flip phones hardly seen anymore. They were popular a dozen years ago but people laugh at them now. They\u2019ve been relegated to the elderly. I bought one for my father because he has dementia and can\u2019t understand iPhones.<\/p>\n Somehow it crept on me. I became something superfluous and pass\u00e9, the non-smartphone. Dated, unmarketable and pushed aside. Not even good enough for an HR Assistant, entry-level role.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t see it coming and once it was here, it was too late.<\/p>\n Now I’m supposed to talk about not giving up, how the Lord is in control and if He wants me to have a job, He will provide one. I should emphasize the positive: my dad is hanging in there, my husband is employed and we have everything we need. We are both in pretty good health, as are our family members. God has blessed us on many different levels.<\/p>\n All that is true, but so is this: I don\u2019t have the will to apply to another job. I don\u2019t see opportunity; I see a waste of time and energy. I hesitate to feel that flutter of excitement again only to have it dashed.<\/p>\n I want to say I am confident, resolute, and determined. But I\u2019m not. I am drained, resigned, and dispirited. Worse, I feel guilty for writing such a depressing post, even though writing is all I know how to do right now.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n .<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It hit me with a resounding thud, like a door slamming in my face: cold, hard rejection. The email was addressed to me wasn\u2019t personal. It was an automated message: \u201cThank you for applying for X. We enjoyed meeting you but have decided to pursue another candidate.\u201d \u00a0In other words, we don\u2019t want you. We 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